Goodbye, 2020

For the last few days, I have been reflecting quite a lot about this year… Although the new year does not guarantee the ends to all our problems, I have always been one to enjoy reflecting and coming up with new year resolutions and such. Out of my ten pages of reflections in my journal, here is a gist of the lessons that I learned this year.

Lesson 1 – Letting go

“It’s better to be with people who lift your energy than to be alone. it’s better to be alone than to be with people who drain your energy.” – ronwritings

While scrolling through my instagram, I came across this very special quote that perfectly describes a large chunk of my year… When you’re surrounded by the same people everyday at school for years, it’s quite difficult to break bonds and distance yourself, but all of this changes once you graduate…Coming from a person who hoards all sorts of things for memories, I have always found it hard for me to let go of people. However, it was easier for me to do so when I realized that I can let go out of love, not out of any bitter feelings…

The friendships that I distanced myself from allowed me to find more peace…but that doesn’t mean that all the years spent with them were for nothing. I’ll always be thankful for what they have done for me and I’ll forever cherish all the memories, but it’s merely time for me to let go of them… for the better.

Lesson 2 – Finding the roots

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” – Soren Kierkegaard

One of the most important things that I did this year was journaling: It allowed me to explore all sorts of things in my mind, even the ones hidden and forgotten… If it weren’t for journaling, I wouldn’t be able to find out all the answers to questions such as “Why is it hard for me to trust people? or “Why do I act the way I do?”.

I truly believe that it’s very important to live in the present, but the present will only make sense if you fully understand your past. All the questions that I have always asked myself were answered once I started journaling… Finding out the answers that gave me light to the way I act, talk, and feel made me become more aware of who I am. This made me more accepting and understanding of myself; therefore, my own mind became a much more healthier and better place.

Lesson 3 – Accepting what it is

“Positive thinking isn’t about expecting the best to happen every time, but accepting that whatever happens is the best for the moment.”

The pandemic affected all of our lives this year, and I’m certain that it’ll still impact us next year too. However, being angry and dwelling on that will not change the situation… We always have to remind ourselves that everything happens for a reason, and that includes the pandemic too… At first, I was devastated that my graduation and trips were cancelled, but looking back now, I am certain that everything is happening for the best. I’m more than thankful to have had all the time in the world to grow into the person I have always wanted to be.

So… what does 2021 have prepared for us? I guess we won’t find out about that until the time comes. Nevertheless, let’s keep the mindset that everything works out for the better in the end.